She replies, "No". His father sees him killing the honeybee and angrily says, "No honey for you for one month!" Later that afternoon, Johnny's dad catches him tearing the wings off a butterfly. My goldfish is inside of your cat.The teacher asked why George Washingtons father didnt punish him for chopping down the cherry tree.Little Johnny said, Easy. "Well did you get it for Christmas then?" Johnny asked. Your email address will not be published. Then Louie who was sitting next to me saw it and he reached over and pulled it out. Do you really expect me to believe that?Its true, Miss Martin, I swear, insisted Johnny. I asked for a new watch and here it is.Jenny decides she wants one too, so night after night she listens outside her parents bedroom for any strange noises and, sure enough, eventually she hears some banging and groaning from the other side of the door.She walks in and catches her parents in the act, so her dad offers her anything she wants to keep quiet about the whole affair. Johnny says, Jesus is in my bathroom every morning. What was the question?Jimmy replied, The question was Who threw the trash can at the principals head?Johnny, wheres your homework? Miss Martin said sternly to the little boy while holding out her hand.My dog ate it, was his solemn response.Johnny, Ive been a teacher for eighteen years. But maybe if you were a little quieter I could., 20. what is it?" she asked. At seven, you told me the truth about the tooth fairy, and at eight you stripped away my belief in Santa Claus. Here, have a carrot! ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! Everybody loves Little Johnny jokes, especially when they are easy to remember, so I thought this short Little Johnny funny jokes collection is perfect. Please accept the terms of our newsletter. He finally finds a toy car he really likes and decides to buy it. So do you know any other ones? Look through these jokes and share them with your partners! The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". Johnny said, "It had to be! Shes in the shower, too., Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?, Johnny: Doubt it. When he comes back down he tells his father what he learned. Working motivation: none. You dont even know what it means.I do. said Johnny. The entire class says, "Hello Mrs. At times, however, circumstances forced their hand. Your email address will not be published. These 20 Little Johnny jokes will have you howling with laughter: 1. She brought in a variety of lifesavers and said, Children, Id like you to close your eyes and taste these. The kids easily identified the taste of cherries, lemons and mint, but when the teacher gave them honey-flavored lifesavers, all of the kids were stumped. Johnny looked up. Johnny says, Bow your head, Dad. In honor of Little Johnny, I put together a little collection of his most outrageous shenanigans for you to enjoy. Little johnny's dad asks him if he knows about the birds and the bees. !Little Johnny: That its Thursday, Miss Bramwell.After Sunday school, the teacher released the kids to go to church and reminded them, You all know to be very nice and quiet in the church. So that way I can be just like dad. I dont want to know!Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Jokes4us.com Privacy Policy. Little Johnny complains to mom at home, Mom, our teacher really doesnt know anything. Eat your lunch and go back to school. I know its my daddy., When asked what he wanted to be when he grew up, Little Johnny said, A detective. What happened?Johnny explains: Miss, Dad asked me again, Johnny are you sleeping?. Little Johnny decided to dress up as a pirate for Halloween.When he went trick-or-treating, one of the adults asked him, Where are your buccaneers?Johnny whispered, Theyre under my buckin eye patch.When the class was asked what they would do if they hit the lottery, Johnny didnt say anything and laid back in his seat. What about you Sherman, how would you say it?Sherman: I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom. Boss : "So what were you arguing about with that customer?" Not really knowing what an Obama fan is, but wanting to be liked by the teacher, all the kids raised their hands except for little Johnny.The teacher asked little Johnny why he has decided to be different again.Little Johnny said, Because Im not an Obama fan.The teacher asked, Why arent you a fan of Obama?Johnny said, Because Im a Republican.The teacher asked him why he was a Republican.Little Johnny answered, Well, my mom is a Republican and my Dad is a Republican, so I am a Republican. Annoyed by the answer, the teacher asked, If your mom was a moron, and your dad was an idiot, what would that make you?With a big smile, little Johnny replied, That would make me an Obama fan.Little Johnnys 2nd grade teacher was quizzing them on an alphabet. A big list of little johnny jokes! I see why they kicked him out of there.Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have?Johnny: One dollar.Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic.Johnny: And you dont know my father!Teacher: If there are three birds on the fence and you shoot one, how many are left?Johnny: None.Teacher: You dont know your arithmetic.Johnny: You dont know birds. Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); They reply, "Oh, we got him straight from heaven." Johnny said, "Jeez. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, Tell me, April, who created the universe? When April didnt stir, little Johnny, a boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. 1 Comments. Joke #6837. Then Johnny replies, But why does mommy have to deflate it when Ms. Jane next door just comes over every day to blow it back up?, Little Johnnys dad came up to him one day to have a chat about the birds and the bees. She jumps and stomps on it, and then looks up to find Little Johnny and her husband watching her. You can also have a look at BEST Butt Jokes That Are Just Booty-ful. In one post, it would be impossible to put all the jokes about little Johnny together. He scares the shit out of it. When Johnnys grandpa saw her walking over, he told him to hide. Liked these funny Little Johnny jokes? Johnny proudly says, "Masturbation." Santa responds back, "Okay. Little Johnny says I wanna be a billionaire, going to the most expensive clubs, take the best bitch with me, give her a Ferrari worth over a million bucks, an apartment in Hawaii, a mansion in Paris, a jet to travel through Europe, an Infinite Visa Card and to make love to her three times a day. Its the same as Santa Claus. She says, "Hello class, I'm Mrs. Prussy. Shes in the shower, too.Salesman: Do you think theyll be out soon?Johnny: Doubt it. Why a carrot as a logo? Don't you know that a dime is worth more than a nickel, even though the nickel's bigger?" How did your school report turn out? asks mother.Why was Little Johnny crying?He put some of his mums cream on his face and then read on the label that it makes you look 10 years younger.Teacher: Why are you praying in class little Johnny?Little Johnny: My mom taught me to always pray before going to sleep.Little Johnny, why does your little sister cry?Because I helped her. Its fake. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. Teacher: Wheres the English Channel? Johnny: I dont know. Ooowww man, you got me right in the eye! he complains to his friend.But the other friend also wants a go and persuades Johnny that he is a much better shot.But bingo, the second shot gets Johnny in the other eye.Johnny gives up: Well Ive had it with this game, Im going home.Mom said I should come back once it gets dark anyway.Little Johnny was late for school. He wanted to freak out his parents.Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?Little Johnny: Not really, we played 2:2.Little Johnny plays shoot the apple from the head with his friends.The first shot lands directly in his eye. See you in the Email! Teacher: If you got ten dollars from ten people, what would you have? Johnny: A new bike. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Stop swearing! But mom! Little Johnny protested, Thats what the teacher taught us! In the morning, Johnny, Freds little brother, gets up and has his breakfast. Teacher: I hope I didnt see you looking at Tommys test paper. Johnny: I hope you didnt see me either., 19. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us your good manners?, Johnny said, I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a moment? Little Johnny is a cartoon character based on a little boy known for his straightforward jokes. His mom replies, Never mind what you think! Not really sure what was going on, she showed Little Johnny. Why are his legs sticking in the air?His father thinking quickly said, Son, thats so God can reach down from the clouds and lift the rooster straight up to heaven.Gee Dad thats great, said Little Johnny. Salesman: What about your mother? Oh dad, Johnny sobbed. Saturday. Just go to school. They were very proud of him and supportive, until Johnny said, Great, I left your luggage next to the front door. He rushes home as fast as he can.He runs in and shouts Dad, dad, can we play builders?His dad says Sure JohnnyJohnny runs to the top of the stairs and shouts Oi, get them bricks up here now you cuntLittle Johnny comes running into the house and asks, Mommy, can little girls have babies?No, says his mom, of course not.Little Johnny runs back outside yelling to his friends, Its okay, we can play that game again!A teacher asks her class to use the word contagious in a sentence. She asks.Johnny says, No, teacher, it is the same dog!Little Johnny was in bible study one morning. Copyright 2023 O-hand.com. I have two half-siblings.The teacher decided to teach the children in her class how to count.When it was Johnnys turn, the teacher asked what came after the number ten.Johnny replied, Thats easy. Sally, the class genius, raises her hand and says, Last year I got the mumps, and my mom said it was contagious.Very good, says the teacher. Your email address will not be published. It's St. Patrick, a Perfect Time to Be Punny. Please feel free to reach out with new content that youd like to see and Ill do my best to post new stuff daily! Little Johnny answers saying, Each morning that my Father is late to work, he pounds on the bathroom door saying, JESUS CHRIST, ARE YOU STILL IN THERE?, Little Johnnys teacher went to pay his family a home visit. Again, the teacher asked for the moral of the story. Little Johnny replied, Thats easy. Thats good to know, he says, Because I havent done my homework.During the concert little Johnny sits in the front row waiting for the concert to begin.A friend asks: Johnny, how did you manage to get a ticket to the concert?Johnny replies: I got a ticket from my sister.The friend asks: And where is your sister?Johnny says: Back at home, looking for her ticket.Little Johnnys new sibling was crying and screaming for hours.He asked his parents where they got him from.They reply, Oh, we got him straight from heaven.Johnny said, Jeez. To make you laugh out loud, here are some little johnny teachers jokes no one knows (to tell your friends). That would be very unfair!Johnny is relieved. Because the ax was in George's hands.". Its just like with Santa Claus. Little Johnny is constantly late for school and what's worse is that he always has a big lie explaining why. I dont want to know! Little Johnny said, exploding and bursting into tears. Who wants some dirty jokes? Listen carefully. They are the best Lil Johnny jokes Internet has to offer. Little April was not the best student in Sunday school. After a few seconds, Little Johnny stood up. I hope that you will accept my curriculum vitae and that we will see each other soon already as new colleagues, I wish more or less. 104 BEST Disney Jokes That are Truly Magical! SHARE. ~Charlie ChaplinSubscribe To The Channel To See Funny Jokes DailyI Hope You Enjoyed The Funny Videos Di. Hes a jewel thief.The pretty teacher was concerned with one of her eleven-year-old students.Taking him aside after class one day, she asked, Little Johnny, why has your school work been so poor lately?Im in love. the boy replied.Holding back an urge to smile, she asked, With whom?With you! he said.But Johnny, she said gently, dont you see how silly that is? 6. Confused by this sudden outburst, his dad asked him what was wrong. Little Johnny is always being teased by the other neighborhood boys for being stupid. Have fun! Come, tell us at least two pronouns, right now!Little Johnny: Who, me? Teacher: Wow who knew, very well done.Teacher tells little Johnny off, You know very well you cant sleep in my class, Johnny.Johnny admits, Yes, I know miss. After lifting her skirt, Little Johnny exclaimed "I'm no doctor, but it looks like somebody cut your dick off!" Sharedby If Then 3like0dislike When the teacher asked for the moral of the story, Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one basket." Oh Pop, Johnny sobbed, For me there was no Santa Claus at age six, no Easter Bunny at seven, and no Tooth Fairy at eight. Every weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them in the incubator. Now you can easily and quickly add contacts from your email account (such as Gmail, Hotmail, Yahoo etc. Mom to his kid: Johnny, you come dirty from football. Heres five more for you,.At this Johnny howled louder than ever.Now what is it? asked his dad. an apple replied little Raymond no, said the teacher its a tomato but it shows your thinking. Ive now got something round, a greenish colored you can eat it. An apple, replied little Ian No its an onion, but it shows your thinking. Little scruffy Johnny at the back of the class says Ive got something under my desk thats an inch long, white and it has a red end. Dirty little boy, said the teacher No its a match, but it shows you were thinking, he answered. Johnny and his father go out to the water. Johnny said, Mommy said that well be loaded when you croak.. When Johnny discovered what static electricity could do, he went around and zapped all of the other kids in his class. His innocent appearance is occasionally contrasted with his knowledge of sex terminology. When you say my name What did he say?He said, Hey, Marie, make sure you wash my socks tomorrow. A kindergarten teacher asks her students what animals provide usShe said, What does a chicken give us? and the students replied, Eggs.She then asked, What does a pig give us? and the students replied a joyous Bacon.Finally she asked What does a cow give us? and before anyone could answer little Johnny said Homework.Little Johnny and a little girl are playing.Little Johnny pulls down his shorts and says, I have one of these and you dont.The little girl starts crying and crying and runs home to her mother.The next day Little Johnny and the girl are playing together again.Once again Little Johnny points to his private parts and says, I have one of these and you dont.But this time the little girl just keeps on playing.How come youre not crying today, asks Little Johnny.My mother told me, says the little girl, pulling up her dress, that with one of these, I can get as many of those as I want.Little Johnny skipped school one dayand since his house was next to his school, the teacher decided to visit Little Johnnys parents the next day after school, but his granddad was the only adult home.When he saw the teacher coming he said Johnny! Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer.Little Johnny is out trick or treating on Halloween dressed as a pirate. Do you know a good joke which isn't here. We can play that game!A father asked his son, Little Johnny, if he knew about the birds and the bees. , he went around and zapped all of the story I swear, Johnny!, me to store the user consent for the cookies in the ``. To find little Johnny little johnny jokes dirty I hope you Enjoyed the Funny Videos Di times, however, circumstances forced hand... At seven, you told me the truth about the birds and the bees Hey,,. 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