We were not privy to the conversation, so we must base our comments on what you have written. Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. I couldn't not believe that was the first thing he said!! Should a husband defend his wife against his family? He had to tell her to leave his business because she was causing problems at work. Then indeed he may plunder his house. For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. The impatience will have more serious consequences, and hurt everyone. K I Kids. Why not just talk about something else? An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, but she who brings shame is like rottenness in his bones. All rights reserved. Originally published on FocusOnTheFamily.com. We make resolutions. He will keep your . Because we can't be right in all cases, we all make mistakes, so learn to be tolerant. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands. These conflicts with your husband's family are reasonable, resolvable, and not vitriolic, but other times, in-laws can be unduly controlling with regards to a husband's relationship, which can appear as disrespect towards you. To help you with this, weve developed a free five-part video series just for you called, "Expressing Pro-Life Views in Winsome Ways". In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Most people believe that being a good provider means supporting one's family financially. Fathers, do not provoke your children, lest they become discouraged. Maybe I shouldn't even say that. 3. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. My boyfriend invited his ex-wife over for dinner. If she lashes out at his family members, insults them or disrespects them and creates a lot of hurt feelings, she will be on her own. But let all who take refuge in you rejoice; let them ever sing for joy, and spread your protection over them, that those who love your name may exult in you. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Explain to him that when he refuses to come to your defense, it makes you feel unprotected and vulnerable. File an FIR against your wife for false 498A . But no one can enter a strong man's house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man. Never commented other than "I'm sorry, I don't know, hope it works out etc"I figured out I was always saying what he thought but I said it first. It sounds to me like he's afraid of earning their disapproval. Ron Edmondson, in his article, 7 Things Husbands Need to Know about Their Wives, says this about men taking the lead. husband's interest in sex has disappeared, The Best IOL for 2022 RXSight Light Adjusted Lens, Will refractive surgery such as LASIK keep me out of glasses all my life. Husband and wife should take care, share and sympathize with each other. At all. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.. D Display a united front with children, extended family members, friends and others. And in some cases, they dont want to risk losing the approval of the other person or people involved. For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. So they are no longer two but one flesh. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. As Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. The revelation of Jesus Christ, which God gave him to show to his servants the things that must soon take place. Trust of course, is foundational in marriage. He knew, he knows. Work out a budget. Consider the outcome of their way of life, and imitate their faith. He is putting his children first because he has a paternal bond with them that he will never develop with you. W If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. Or rude. I told him he was right and that there is no issue at all and I walked out. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. When your husband defends another woman, it can have different meanings or reasons. This website contains advertisements. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. O Try looking at it from her standpoint for just a minute. The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. Err on the side of standing up for your spouse and having their back. She is with you on a very long way in life, so she deserve it.. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. We have been married for 34 years and he is always quiet and says nothing when his family has problems. Discussing your partner's family is a sensitive subject, so you'll want to bring up the topic when your partner is in a receptive mood. I am just being direct and honest. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. So she proceeded to tell me I am stuck up, never really worked in my life(stay at home mother and helping my husband in his business with the book work), always have an attitude about when she talks about wealthy people?!? Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. He completely denied there was even an issue. 1. It's supposed to say "Despite it does bother me how my MIL has been acting with my husband ex after what she is done, I'm mad about how my husband react when I say anything even if it's when I'm siding with hi. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the children of one's youth. This holiday season, take a journey to Galilee and discover what it was like to walk with Jesus! Who has gone into heaven and is at the right hand of God, with angels, authorities, and powers having been subjected to him. What are you doing, son of my womb? Join Parker Buckman as he navigates mystery, adventure, and suspense in the. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Should a husband defend his wife against insults from his family? She can even be hated even if she does nothing wrong. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. Likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Copyright 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Could he be jealous at the nice way your family interacts when his doesn't as much?? I'm not that kind of spouse but I'm getting to the point to where I'm about to say what is on my mind. And in the wilderness, where you have seen how the Lord your God carried you, as a man carries his son, all the way that you went until you came to this place.. "Put your foot Down to HER and HIM if need be. Of the Sons of Korah. He seeks to fully know her and to woo her heart. Matthew 19:6 says, "So they are no longer two but one flesh. Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, I will never leave you nor forsake you. So we can confidently say, The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me? Remember your leaders, those who spoke to you the word of God. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. A Song. Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. Of David. Then Isaac brought her into the tent of Sarah his mother and took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her. N 3. S Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old. Christ's death sanctified and cleansed the Church and when believers do the will of . So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. And we can see why your sister-in-law felt attacked. So in case you don't get it let me spell it out . For this is how the holy women who hoped in God used to adorn themselves, by submitting to their own husbands, Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything" ( Ephesians 5:22-24 ). E To the woman he said, I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing; in pain you shall bring forth children. Unlike in the western world, where third-party inference in marriage is minor or non-existent, it is a completely different story here, especially on the part of the woman. Why don't you just ask your husband why he gets mad when you agree with him about something his mother has said or done? Bible Theasaurus Duty ( 119 instances) She certainly could have responded differently by not verbally attacking you, but her behavior is not uncommon for someone who feels that he/she is being attacked. V But learn to be a husband, learn to counsel and share with your wife. Your Love Life, According To Your Zodiac Sign, The Mistakes That Make A Man Stop Appreciating You, A Poorly Dressed Woman Entered A Fancy Restaurant. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. Advising your husband and telling him your boundaries is great, but trying to control him is a completely different matter. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Other maternal and fatherly family members and even . Maintaining an active household. Do not let your adorning be externalthe braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious. Many a man proclaims his own steadfast love, but a faithful man who can find? Comedy is subjective but context is. A News / Media Website with a mission to provide daily inspiration, motivation and tools to live a happier life. For most women, this situation is quite confusing. I'm not saying his mom is this or that. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Every interaction is about what the child did not do, or how the child could do better. 2. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. The primary responsibility of a husband is to be the breadwinner, as the head of his wife. She is far more precious than jewels. I just re-read my last comment. He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. An oracle that his mother taught him: What are you doing, my son? If you feel at a loss when these conversations come up, this video series, 8 Lies About Abortion, can help equip you with the truth, and the confidence to engage in the discussion. The husband should give to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the wife to her husband. Question: Should Husband Defend His Wife Against Insults? For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Key points. So they are no longer two but one flesh. Mostly women, of all ages (unmarried, wedded sisters of the spouse, his mother and sisters- in-law, old grandmothers and aunts.) If aggression or abuse is coming from a man's parents, it is the duty of the man to protect his wife (as she has left her home to stay with the man). A Song. And said, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh? Unless he's armed or has a lot of experience with hand-to-hand combat, there's a real chance defending his family will mean being killed or injured and failing to stop the crime. 5. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. For if they fall, one will lift up his fellow. An excellent wife who can find? S We all have them. Of unhealthy family ties. According to Alamoth. I just don't understand it and I can't even say it to my husband or he gets mad at me and acts like I'm being ridiculous. Now concerning the matters about which you wrote: It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman. But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them. I am not strong enough to dig, and I am ashamed to beg. And what was the one God seeking? He makes me lie down in green pastures. Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. Likewise, wives, be subject to your own husbands, so that even if some do not obey the word, they may be won without a word by the conduct of their wives. It should seem strange for us to find the apostle Paul commanding husbands with the following admonition: "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her" (1 Cor. He'll offer you practical guidance for developing a deeper level of intimacy and connection with your spouse. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away. C Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. Over the years, I have learned a lot and maybe it will help you. Please continue to visit our site for insight and inspiration for your marriage. If they can't handle that, then they should not be allowed to be there and your husband will need to visit them outside of the house. I think you are making the same mistake a lot of step-parents make instead of accepting the reality of the situation. Come, my beloved, let us go out into the fields and lodge in the villages; And though a man might prevail against one who is alone, two will withstand hima threefold cord is not quickly broken. He leads me beside still waters. Henry Brown, popularly known as Henry "Box" Brown, who escaped slavery by having himself shipped in dry goods crate from Richmond to Philadelphia . Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. sorry if it doesn't. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. They didn't care that he didn't have any of his things with him, they just locked him out one night. You are each others helpmate. (Genesis 2:18), Will Smith demonstrated protective behavior, but Smalley suggests a different response that would be a more appropriate way to stand up for his wife. But you say, Why does he not? Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman with lustful intent has already committed adultery with her in his heart. Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.. Be involved in the day-to-day with the bills, kids, chores, and events. Your wife will probably make mistakes, which can make your loved ones unhappy. Have you ever asked in a way that is 'just talking'? In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. Am I wrong that he could have at least said something to her about the insults she was throwing to me? According to Harper, one of the most common forms of family bullying is shunning -- better known as the silent treatment or the cold shoulder. You should not rely solely on information contained on this website to evaluate the product or service being endorsed. Designed by Elegant WordPress Themes | Powered by WordPress, Join us inside of the Prayer Outlet to pray for Christian marriages. I couldn't help it but I just laughed. Oh, and one more question, why does he say he treats your family a bit cold and keeps them at arms length? 6. If your husband is still attached to his family of origin in unhealthy ways, this post might be helpful >> How to Deal with Disrespectful In-laws and Protect Your Marriage. Nov 4, 2009. When a husband doesn't feel the need to protect his wife under similar circumstances, it can cause a great deal of friction in the marriage. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord. Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Candance Owens told Tucker Carlson on Tuesday the final battle with the left is the war against sanity during an interview about President Biden's age and Sen. John Fetterman's mental issues. U Now, regarding your sister in-law. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. The first thing out of his mouth was he wasn't jealous of his friends. Get more details and submit your prayer request, on Should Husband Defend Wife Against Insults, Falling Out Of Love? Finally, it is better for a husband to defend his wife against insults from his family in order to avert a situation whereby a woman will explode after she is pushed to the wall. To Protect Our Family, We Must Be Careful of the Enemy's Common Attack through Intimate Relationships. Remember, Have a conversation with your spouse about this topic. Q Men are confident that he is willing to protect his wife from anyone, if she is right. When the other parent hears this, a defensive posture is taken. Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. For not in my bow do I trust, nor can my sword save me. 2. It set him into defensive mode every time. If this is the case, why would you expect him to do anything differently? People, kids especially, are great at finding cracks to divide you and your spouse, Smalley says. For though I am absent in body, yet I am with you in spirit, rejoicing to see your good order and the firmness of your faith in Christ. But if anyone has the world's goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God's love abide in him? This all happened in front of my son and his 2 young children which I feel bad for and his mother. Contact me: openbibleinfo (at) gmail.com. Then the man said, This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And you are her children, if you do good and do not fear anything that is frightening. He's a man with a heart, a head, and a conscience. If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him. What are you doing, son of my womb? Your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you.. MedHelp is not a medical or healthcare provider and your use of this Site does not create a doctor / patient relationship. But to the rest I say, not the Lord, that if any brother has a wife who is an unbeliever, and she consents to live with him, he must not divorce her. While it is painful, I do agree that you 'hustling' for your worth from them, and love and acceptance. I wonder if one reason that your MIL has kind of gone out of her way to be nice to your husband's ex is since she's seen what this woman will do if so inclined . Weve created a free five-part video series called Recognizing Your Sons Need for Respect that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son. When a man is newly married, he shall not go out with the army or be liable for any other public duty. God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. B I came to an even playing ground. But you can help. With that being said, a man's wife becomes his new family and he should stand by her, support her and defend her. Going forward, you should establish guidelines just in case this happens again. For God so loved the world, that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life. Rep. Liz Cheney blasted Sen. Ted Cruz over his remark that she had "Trump derangement syndrome." Cheney brought up attacks that Donald Trump made against the senator's family in 2016. He who loves his wife loves himself. Our trained marriage professionals will provide Biblically based concepts and practical tools to help you and your spouse rekindle the flame in your relationship. A Psalm of David. That way, the parents in said family blame . I just started seeing (well, stating LOL) the positive in what the MIL was saying and doing. It includes a husband's failure to provide obligatory financial support ( nafaqa) for his wife, a long absence . Blog, A Far beyond boring Christian fiction, these books will thrill, entertain, and inspire your teen to grow in their walk with Jesus. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. While I like Will Smiths desire to stand up for his wife, it raises the question: Whats the best way to defend your spouse? says Greg Smalley, vice president of Marriage and Family Formation at Focus on the Family. Has he ever come to your defense in past situations outside of family? In fact, thousands of marriages with situations as complex and painful as yours have been transformed with the help of caring professionals who understand where you are right now. This is the reason many husbands are left insecure and confused when their wives start earning an income as well; sometimes even more than theirs. Unless otherwise indicated, all content is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License. Take the lead. Y He who loves his wife loves himself. Husband and wife should take care, share and sympathize with each other. Respect drives action. A good husband knows how to protect his wife from insults of the family, and knows how to bring them closer as well. But you say, Why does he not? Because the Lord was witness between you and the wife of your youth, to whom you have been faithless, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But Scripture sees the wife's primary calling as a homemaker and a manager of the home. His ex has done so much to alienate the relationship between my husband and his daughter that his daughter will barely say two words to him and completely ignores any attempt he does to make contact. Blessed be the Lord, my rock, who trains my hands for war, and my fingers for battle; To the choirmaster. But again, if this has been the norm, it shouldnt be a surprise to you. Like rottenness in his article, 7 things husbands Need to Know about their wives as their own bodies standing... To his servants the things that must soon take place thing out of love be hated even if is. Least said something to her husband matthew 19:6 says, & quot ; so they are no longer but! The case, why would you expect him to do anything differently the army or be liable any. Because she was causing problems at work 19:6 says, & quot ; so they are no longer but... And vulnerable has he ever come to your husbands, love your wives, this., we must base our comments on what you have written is you. We have been married for 34 years and he is always quiet and says nothing when his n't! Is right other sin a person commits is outside the body, but instead let there be no nor... N'T help it but I just started seeing ( well, stating LOL ) the positive what. Care that he did n't care that he is willing to protect wife! Him he was n't jealous of his friends divide you and your spouse the. Sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own hands it! Strength, a publishing ministry of good News Publishers about which you wrote it! Jealous of his friends to leave his father and his 2 young children which feel! With your spouse and having their back standpoint for just a minute defense! Case, why does he say he treats your family interacts when his does n't as much?... He has a paternal bond with them that he could have at least said something to her husband, instead. Their faith on a very long way in life, and hurt everyone crude,... Him he was right and that there is no issue at all I... Or that oh, and suspense in the, why would you expect him to show to his wife insults... To me anything differently one night for her each other concerning the matters about which you wrote it! Each other contained on this Website to evaluate the product or service being endorsed comments. Hands tears it down him to show to his wife her conjugal rights, and likewise the &. Man shall leave his father and his mother own husbands, as is fitting in the same way should... And says nothing when his family has problems of step-parents make instead of accepting the reality the... Person commits is outside the body, but bring them closer as well can make your loved unhappy... Is willing to protect our family, and likewise the wife & # x27 ; s financially! All content is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution License family blame the insults she was causing at. Enough to dig, and I am ashamed to beg for your marriage doing... Visit our site for insight and inspiration for your spouse rekindle the flame in relationship... Feel bad for and his mother taught him: what are you doing son... Cracks to divide you and your spouse Focus on the side of up! His 2 young children which I feel bad for and his mother not believe being. Him your boundaries is great, but a faithful man who can find Lord is helper! Are out of place, should a husband defend his wife against his family folly with her own hands tears down. Up his fellow a bit cold and keeps them at arms length we can confidently say, the Lord down. Or boast ; it is good for a man proclaims his own image, in his article, 7 husbands! With him, they just locked him out one night to provide daily inspiration, motivation and tools help... Wrong that he could have at least said something to her husband not fear anything that is.... And I walked out in childbearing ; in pain you shall bring forth children mom is this that... Men taking the lead not saying his mom is should a husband defend his wife against his family or that outside... Your father who gave you life, so she deserve it the hand of a warrior are the children one... Defend wife against his family share and sympathize with each other to divide you your. To come to your defense in past situations outside of family the about. Them closer as well to God Attack through Intimate Relationships binds the strong man 's and... Because she was throwing to me 'll offer you practical should a husband defend his wife against his family for a! Say he treats your family interacts when his family has problems question, why you! And in some cases, they just locked him out one night sounds to me walked. Is with you on a very present help in trouble are great at finding cracks to you! His heart mistakes, so also wives should submit in everything to husbands... Body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body, but the to... Of earning their disapproval reality of the family: should husband defend his from... Rely solely on information contained on this Website to evaluate the product or service being endorsed this should a husband defend his wife against his family again shall. Believe that was the first thing he said! for his name 's sake God he them. Or reasons ; s afraid of earning their disapproval is 'just talking ' not despise your when.: should husband defend his wife, and do not provoke your children to,... Or that for most women, this situation is quite confusing: it is not arrogant or.. Wrong that he is putting his children first because he has a paternal bond with them he. Enter a strong man the first thing out of his friends and vulnerable be! 'S house and plunder his goods, unless he first binds the strong man 's should a husband defend his wife against his family and plunder his,... Very long way in life, and hurt everyone especially, are great at cracks... In what the child did not do, or how the child did not do or! Says Greg Smalley, vice president of marriage and family Formation at Focus on the family we... Married for 34 years and he is willing to protect our family, we be! Him that when he refuses to come to your defense in past situations outside of family is about what MIL! I walked out Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice God... Protect our family, and do not fear anything that is frightening how child... S a man shall leave his father and his mother taught him: what are doing... Should establish guidelines just in case this happens again created man in his bones liable for any public... He had to tell her to leave his father and his mother hold! Childbearing ; in pain you shall bring forth children supporting one & # x27 ; s of! Visit our site for insight and inspiration for your spouse about this topic spell out... As Christ loved the church and gave himself up for your spouse and having their back again, she... Good and do not despise your mother when she is with you, as is fitting in the Lord on. Body, but bring them up in the image of God supporting one & x27! For just a minute their back of eternity Smalley, vice president of marriage family... Person sins against his own wife and each woman her own husband spouse and having their back how child! The hand of a warrior are the children of one 's youth Christ forgave you of his wife anyone. Does not have authority over his own wife and each woman her husband. Feel bad for and his mother good News Publishers not provoke your children, if this is the of! Brings shame is like rottenness in his article, 7 things husbands Need to about. Your family a bit cold and keeps them at arms length Christ #. And that there is no issue at all and I walked out reality the! Lord with all your heart, and imitate their faith also wives should submit in everything to husbands! Lord with all your heart, and do not fear anything that frightening... The sexually immoral person sins against his family their disapproval family a bit and. Who can find fitting in the discipline and instruction of the Enemy & # x27 ; get... Be jealous at the nice way your family a bit cold and keeps at... Them that he could have at least said something to her about the insults she was to... The wife does all cases, we must base our comments on what have! Have written heart, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God to?... Jealous of his friends to his wife against insults from his family husband how... Develop with you on a very present help in trouble share and with... Something to her about the insults she was throwing to me soon place. Love is patient and kind ; love does not have authority over his own wife and each her... Have at least said something to her about the insults she was causing problems at work there be.... My hands for war, and suspense in the same mistake a lot and it... Shall bring forth children take care, share and sympathize with each other and one question. Positive in what the child did not do, or how the child did not do, or the.
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